Secondhand Embarassment

Jacquelyn, 21.

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You’re literally the gutter press. And fuck you, the makers of this show [Big Brother] as well. You can’t wash your hands of this. You can’t keep going, “Oh, it’s exploitation, but it’s what the public want.” No, the Victorian freak show never went away. Now it’s called “Big Brother” or “American Idol,” where in the preliminary rounds we wheel out the bewildered to be sniggered at by multimillionaires. And fuck you for watching this at home. Shame on you. And shame on me. I’m the worst of all ‘cause I’m one of those people that goes, “Oh, I’m an entertainer, it’s in my blood.” Yeah, it’s in my blood, ‘cause a real job’s too hard. I would love to have been a doctor - too hard. Didn’t want to put the work in. Would love to be a war hero - I’m too scared. So I go, “Oh, it’s what I do.” And I have someone bollocked if my cappuccino is cold, or if they look at me the wrong way. You know what a friend of mine once said? They said I’ll never be happy ‘cause I’ll never be famous enough. And they were right.

Ricky Gervais, as Andy Millman  on Extras

A problem solved is a problem caused.

Karl Pilkington, closing comment on The Ricky Gervais Guide to…Medicine